Bring On The Self Love With Simply Be

[This post is an AD in collaboration with Simply Be and contains gifted items]

HOW IS IT NEARLY VALENTINES DAY AGAIN?!? The day of romance, chocolates and (in my case) sausage, chips and beans at Morrisons. Something I've learnt about love and romance and all that jazz is that there is utterly no point whatsoever in expecting to be happy in a relationship if you're not happy with yourself. 

So much of what makes me happy now is not having a reliance on other peoples' opinions of me. Of how I look or how much they value my existence. I like who I am, and even on my worst days I know that I'm doing my best. 

www.theemedit.co.uk

Lauren Lace Plunge Midi Bra - Simply Be [Gifted Item] Available up to a 48DD
Lauren Lace Brazilian Briefs - Simply Be [Gifted Item] Available up to a 26

Sometimes self-love comes from acknowledging your limitations and moving onto the next thing. 
Sometimes self-love comes from a full face of makeup and some banging selfies. 
Sometimes self-love comes from eating something covered in cheese. 
Sometimes self-love comes from putting on some really beautiful lingerie and admiring all of the gorgeous things that make your body so unique. And, for me, embracing that uniqueness, both physically and in all the other elements that make you YOU, is your real power in self-love and happiness. 

www.theemedit.co.uk

For those of you not planning to spend the evening in a Supermarket cafe, Simply Be have got us covered on the lingerie front with a range, that is not only beautiful but also available in an increasingly extending size range; Some lines go from A - L cup and up to a 56 back, the ones I am featuring below go up to a 48DDI know personally how much effort has gone into ensuring new ranges are both well fitting and current so I was very excited to be giving it a bit of a trial, starting with the Lauren set. 

The Lauren bra fits like an absolute dream, and it LOOKS (albeit in my eyes) PHENOMENAL. I could walk around the house in it all day, the support is spot on, the coverage is perfect and, most excitingly, it's just £20. If you take into account the briefs being just £12, £32 for the whole set is frankly ridiculous. 

www.theemedit.co.uk    www.theemedit.co.uk

The briefs are beautifully soft and clearly designed with curves in mind which makes them a dream to wear, but honestly, I cant stop thinking about this bra! You know how much I love a longline and I just really, really enjoy wearing this one. I'm very much looking forward to finding ways to show off the bra under sheer tops and dresses, or just by itself because something this gorgeous deserves to be seen.

Next up is the Figleaves Curve Fever set, because if you cant wear red on Valentines Day, when CAN you wear it please? 

www.theemedit.co.uk
Figleaves Fever Balconette Bra - Simply Be [Gifted Item] Available up to a 48DD 
Figleaves Fever Brazilian Briefs - Simply Be [Gifted Item] Available up to a 26 
Figleaves Fever Suspender Belt - Simply Be [Gifted Item] Available up to a 26

I. Feel. So. Sexy. In. This. Set. 
Word to the wise with these briefs; Size up. I think I was bamboozled by the low-slung ness of them (Perfect for under the suspender belt) but I think I'd feel more comfortable in something a bit bigger wedgie-wise (Just a personal knicker preference) Size aside, I'm very into the cut-out feature at the back and the floral detailing.

For me, the real hero of this set is the Balconette Bra - The quarter cup padding, sheer mesh cup and shoulder detailing all come together to make a truly beautiful piece of lingerie whilst offering the kind of support and comfort you would never expect from something so utterly lovely. 

www.theemedit.co.uk   www.theemedit.co.uk

Whichever way you look at it, thanks to Simply Be, I'm all set for Valentines day on the lingerie-front. Now all I need to do is hope Cupid brings me a card...
Em x

Five Minutes on Validity

You all know that I have A LOT of thoughts when it comes to children and making children and growing children and having children and raising children etc etc. 

So this is a bit of an update around my thoughts on the validity of womanhood when it comes to children. The next step in my odd little journey along the road of adulthood if you will (You'd imagine I'd be getting it right by now...)

I just want to clarify in advance that anything I say is by no means someone without a child digging out those women WITH children. Quite the contrary. Mothers are INCREDIBLE. There are times when I look at my sister and think "HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?" (Usually when she's covered in green stuff that could have come from literally any part of my niece) Plus, I would never judge any decision someone else has made when it comes to their body, lives and offspring - It is simply none of my business.
When we TALK about things, we start to realise there are people out there who have been thinking about the same things but with different experiences, which I, for one, find incredibly useful. I want to be tolerant, I don't want to be entirely wrapped up in my own understandings based on just how things make ME feel. Strangely enough, being angry doesn't make me happy and because I'm the kinda chick who rarely tells people when I'm offended or upset by their actions, the anger quickly transforms into an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. 

So I went on instagram and I talked about it. I talked about how I regularly feel that I'm somehow not seen as valid or included in society due to my choice to not yet have children (If at all). I mentioned the number of times I found myself excluded from events and invites purely due my childlessness. About how not being a mother somehow suggests that you're lacking in wisdom, experience and ability. 

And the response was phenomenal. 

I received hundreds of messages, from women at all stages of life, sharing their experiences, feelings and some truly incredible advice. And all of a sudden I wasn't alone. MAGIC RIGHT?!? With this in mind, I'd really like to share (with permission) some of the words that impacted me the most. So if you're in a quandary, WE CAN ALL BE IN IT TOGETHER. 

www.theemedit.co.uk

There seems to be some wider assumption that a family has to include children, but I'm really big on "Family" being whatever you make it. My immediate family is my husband and me. And the cats obvs. Families can be you and your parents, it can be you and a friend, it can be you and your case of stick insects. Family for me is the tightest circle of living things you have wrapped around you and I am incredibly fortunate to be close to my parents and sister who will always be family. 

As for "Selfish" UGH, this is one thing that really blags my swede. Firstly, not's let forget that not everyone is child-free through choice. Plus, what's selfish about not having children? Why is emotional labour only valid when it's directed towards the under 16s? I care SO deeply for the people in my life and I'm generally too busy doing all of the things I do in a day to be selfish, its a wonder if I've washed my hair nowadays...

www.theemedit.co.uk


"Focussing on your career". As if this is the only way to justify not having children. As if the only important things in life for a woman are work or motherhood. Why the heck are we having to justify our existence in this way? We exist because we do. Why the sudden need when we hit our mid-20s to take on some kind of societal role...? 

I had an interesting professional discussion around flexible working recently - Flexible working is incredible and has facilitated so many women being able to balance a career and childcare, but try and use it in any other way beyond child-based emergencies you may find yourselves coming up against issues. We've all been there; It's quite rightly deemed vital that a parent-child relationship is facilitated by the workplace, but the relationships we have with our partners and friends (Which at times are life-saving) are given short shrift. 

And it's not just the people without children who notice the difference:
www.theemedit.co.uk
I find it kind of selfishly comforting to know that new mothers recognise the difference in the way that society treats a woman with children, but, more importantly, it is so vital for us to be reminded that mums (particularly new mums) seek out other mums for support and its not unfair to assume that quite often this support is enhanced by experience, experience someone without a child simply doesn't have. And that's ok, I wouldn't ask a doctor for advice on how to cut my hair. As long as we're not muscled out completely. I may not know about colic or nappy changing (At least not that I'm willing to admit to...) but I am an incredible listener, I'm great at pulling stupid faces and I will sing and dance for anybody who needs those particular services at any given time. 

Two of the most striking comments that I want to leave you with are these:
www.theemedit.co.uk

Why are those of us in doubt feeling even a little bit obliged to do something that doesn't enhance our lives in any way? In most basic terms; We're not on the brink of extinction, the survival of the human race isn't dependent on people who are already quite happy adding to the population.

Part of me knows that some of you will be thinking  "Ok, we get it, you don't have children, get over it" and I can understand why you would. But it is SO important to me that we continue to have these conversations because if they've helped the likes of me as much as they have, they may help other people. So let's keep them going. 

We need to stop believing that not having a child makes us any less important. Or that our lives are any less full. We are valid, we are important, we are whole.

Please feel free to share some thoughts in the comments or over on my insta.

Em x

Tis The Season To Sparkle with Simply Be

Every year, I start the festive period with the following vow to myself: This year, I am going to NAIL every party look that comes my way. With this in mind, I've linked up with Simply Be to help you Sparkle this season. 

www.theemedit.co.uk

So here are some of the questions that the gorgeous Simply Be customers have passed our way, have a read, it may just help you to nail this year's festive looks:

'My Body shape is weird. When I wear a body shaper, my stomach sticks out. What is the best shapewear to give me a good shape, especially when I'm wearing dresses.'

I mean, I have to start by saying NO body shape is weird. If you have a body, it's shape is a body shape. I think what you're saying is that your body doesn't look how you want it to look. So my first, very inexpensive bit of advice is to GET USED to your body. Look at it in mirrors. Take photos of it at different angles. Just get used to it, so what if your stomach/bottom/thighs/arms stick out?

My tummy has always stuck out so I'm guilty of squeezing myself into all kinds of palavas to try and change or enhance my shape over the years. Though there's nothing wrong with this IF THIS IS YOUR CHOICE, I spent years not fully enjoying Christmas meals or events because I'd lost the feeling in my bottom. And don't mention trying to go to the loo...

www.theemedit.co.uk

I'm now a big fan of wearing a slip with a built in bra under a party dress. It stops static clinging or ruching whilst still allowing you to do all of the things you need to do. Plus there's no need to layer things up or overheat because it does all the things you need in one item. This Magisculpt multiway slip is billed as being "Firm Control", and although it keeps my parts in place, I'm still comfortable and happy I'm not being squished. Plus it looks sexy as heck and I'm COMPLETELY here for this. 

www.theemedit.co.uk

"I've just started a new job and the Christmas party invites have just gone around. I'm the curviest in the office, what could I wear that would minimise this or should I just accentuate what I've got?"

Again, there is no obligation for you to do either. You would be exactly the same marvellous person whether you were wearing a parka or a string bikini. My advice is that you wear something you are comfortable with (I don't mean pyjamas) and most importantly, that fits. This is not the time to be squeezing yourself into your favourite party frock from ten years ago (The one that barely fit at the time...) I say this as someone who has done this and has spent the whole night feeling rubbish

For me, this is the time of year for sequins, sparkle and glamour and I love being able to go the whole hog without giving what anyone else is wearing a second thought. It's Christmas for crying out loud!

www.theemedit.co.uk

The simple and, dare I say, foolproof wrap style of this dress makes it a no brainer for any festive event. I don't even know where to start with the sequins but I can't imagine it looking anything less than incredible on anyone who wears it. Plus it needs no ironing so you can leave it in your bag all day, optimising your glamorous entrance. Pair it with simple, strappy sandals (Of a sensible stumble home height!) and you're good to go. 

Just remember, when you're at the party, don't let one single comparison pop into your head. Other people can look smoking hot without taking away from how incredible you look - Just make sure you tell them how lush they are and accept all the compliments that come your way!

www.theemedit.co.uk

Look guys, if I can offer you one bit of advice, it's this. Just enjoy yourself and if all else fails, grab a mince pie, a glass of bubbly, a mince pie and be your own glitter ball. 
Em x
This is a sponsored post and contains affiliate links - All view are my own.

Your New Fashion Hero - Unique 21

I'm here with a sneaky little fashion post aren't I? 
I know, I know, I'm as blown away as you are But here it is and I would like to introduce to you: Unique 21.

Plus Size Leopard Print
Leopard Blouse: Unique 21
Jeans: Second Scripts
Boots: Next 
We all love a new plus size brand don't we... Well, I *say* new, Unique 21 have actually been knocking about for a while now, albeit previously on other sites such as Simply Be (Where I bought this rather fabulous blouse) and ASOS. They've now launched their HERO range on its very own site, bringing us bright co-ords, snazzy blouses and sparkly knits. 


I think we can all agree that"Jeans and a nice top" are the most useful thing you can have in your wardrobe so being able to extend my options in this department is always very much appreciated. It seems like Unique 21 are going to be a good call for simple well made styles in different colour variations. 

This leopard print wrap shirt is ideal over a pair of skinny jeans, it's an easy to wear, throw on item that would work just as well down the pub as it would in a cocktail bar. I haven't practiced doing backwards rolls in it yet (that's what I do on nights out now, who knew?) I feel like it would be perfectly possible. 


Where the range is currently quite limited, I am told that this is set to increase with more options becoming available in the larger sizes (It currently stops at a 26...) which, as you can imagine, I am very much looking forward to seeing. 

I also ordered a purple pussybow blouse* which is absolutely perfect for work with a good pair of cigarette pants so be sure to keep your eyes on my insta for more...
Em x 
* Denotes gifted items for review - All views are my own. 

Five Minutes on Standing Alone

Sometimes we stand alone.

Today is the last day of child loss awareness week. I’ve not said an awful lot this week, partly because so many other wonderful women are saying things so beautifully and partly because I’m in a strange new phase. Beyond grief and into loneliness.


I’m a woman in my mid-30s. As much as I want to deny the understanding that emotions can be biologically led, there are days when I feel physical pain that there is no child of my own in the house. As much as I know that my life will have many other fulfilments, there are days when I feel such a deep sense of solitary that I want to curl up in bed and never get up.


Talking to other women who have experienced child loss, the overwhelming emotion is loneliness.

We all have an understanding of how we think our lives will be, even if we don’t make plans or set expectations (I certainly haven’t) we still build a world around ourselves that has so many intertwining parts, when one goes a bit tits, it can take years to work out how all the other bits work. How the other people in your life fit into it all. What you see your future being, or not being. 


When I first talked about child loss and mental health on this site, I made a bit of a pact to myself to talk about ALL of it. All of the stages, all of the changes. I do it because it helps me and, hopefully, it helps other people to know that they're not alone.  

When I’ve figured it all out I’ll let you know. It could be a while. 

But rest assured I’m not sad, I’m not incomplete, I’m just a bit lost, and sometimes we have to stand alone. 
Em x

Stop. Treat. Go with Galaxy® Chocolate Rounds

It's 3.27pm, the words on your screen are starting to blur, your tummy’s rumbling. Home time seems years away, yet lunch is a distant memory. It’s the time of day that clock watching becomes a national pastime and WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. Luckily for us, Galaxy have got us covered - As soon as that clock hits 3.28pm head for the biscuit jar and indulge in a Galaxy® Chocolate Round.


You may know that I’ve recently started a new job and one of my biggest challenges has been actually remembering to take the time to stop and breathe never mind anything else. The sheer luxury of allowing myself ten minutes to put the kettle on and indulge in some chocolatey goodness this week has been bliss. 


Delicious shortbread (My fave!) covered in the Galaxy chocolate we all know and love; Rounds come in Chocolate and Salted Caramel flavour and are an all round prrrretty luxury biscuit. I *know* that I should say something about sharing the biscuits with my colleagues BUT they’re too nice and I don’t want to. Take that as you will.  


I think we should all make a pact to allow ourselves at a few moments of chill in our otherwise busy days, starting from tomorrow! Galaxy Rounds are available at many major retailers, regular retail price is £1.99.
Em x

*This is a paid advertisement for Galaxy®. However, all biscuity views are my own.

Beauty Comes In All Shapes And Sizes

Today, Navabi release their Beauty Comes In All Shapes And Sizes campaign where they aim to reach as many people as they can with the goal of exploring what Beauty REALLY means to us.


Beauty is so subjective. For example, I find those big white wind turbines beautiful but most people think they're vile. Yes, I am using renewable energy as an example of what beauty is, that's the kinda guy I am (I even wrote a post about it many years ago) 

Anyway, moving on from turbines and the such. The Navabi campaign is all about letting us know that we are ALL beautiful just the way we are. With this in mind, I want you all to think about what you value in other people, what makes them BEAUTIFUL to you? 

Beauty isn't just about shiny hair and nice bottoms - I DO like those things but I like other things too. Beauty, to me, is a culmination of the following:
Integrity
Self-Awareness
Compassion
Tolerance

I will always be attracted to someone who is both engaging and engaged. I will always find someone with compassion beautiful. Over the years I have wondered at the beauty of many a human (just try and stop me) gender, size, shape don't come into it. I find beauty in imperfection, in diversity, in things and people that break from the "norm"


With all of this in mind, I'd like to give a special nod to some of the most beautiful women I know:

My Mum - My Mum has never been anybody but herself; She has never given into peer pressure or pressure of ANY kind come to think of it... She is the eternal realist and nothing phases her. Plus she's always been a hot mum and I like that. My Dad and her raised me to be the woman who I am, and my sister to be the woman who she is. Which leads me to...

My sister Kate - Kate is a ridiculous human, she is one of, if not THE most precious things I have in my life. She dances and she sings (She once thought she was an undiscovered opera singer for ages), she listens and she cares. She gave me a niece that I would literally murder for (I will delete this post if there is ever a murder) and she is just an all round wonderfully weird and beautiful woman. 

My best mate (4EVA IDST) Danni - Danni is the most impressive human I have ever met. There. Is. Nothing. She. Can't. Do.
She's got a huge brain and a tiny body. Her capacity for more more more is incomparable. She yogas and sails and learns and laughs and makes ME laugh and she takes me along for the ride, even when I don't think I can do it. She just GETS me in a way that nobody else really does. She is resilient as fuck and I adore her. 

Steph - I can already hear Steph's eyes rolling from here. Her humility is frankly ridiculous. She is caring, supportive, and has no idea just how wonderful she is. Steph is HILARIOUS, she can make me laugh unlike no other, without ever bringing anyone else down. She grafts her ass off and has this unique way of understanding what you're saying, even if you're not saying it. My life got better when Steph walked into it.

Beebs - I loved Beebs before I'd even spoken to her. She always has time for the people who need her, even when she's going through epically crap times herself. She carries herself with the grace of a swan crossed with a ballerina and she is the most capable human being I've ever met. Her capacity for love is limitless and I'm so incredibly lucky to know her.


I've really enjoyed thinking about beauty and what it means to me. We don't often get the opportunity to step outside of things that just ARE.

Beebs and I are incredibly proud to be part of this campaign - You can find out more about  #Beautycomesinallshapesandsizes on Navabi's social media
Em x
*This is a sponsored post - All views are my own.

Tutti Cutie with Rougette

I said I'd get some knickers up on here and I wasn't lying. In fact, I NEVER lie.
Unless it's about how much I've spent on ASOS this month, in which case I will lie to the death... Anyway, here are some knickers, and some fine ones at that.

www.theemedit.co.uk
Phoenix Bralette* - Rougette
Phoenix Briefs* - Rougette
Finding fun, sexy lingerie in larger cup sizes is NOT easy so when Tutti Rouge got in touch singing the praises of their new sister range Rougette, I was VERY interested. A week later, a beautiful package arrived, packed full of lingerie that I knew immediately was up my street. Sexy lace which is wearable rather than novelty,smooth lines, modern styles to suit a range of body shapes, no fuss. Everyone I've seen in Rougette has looked incredible - It's a real crowd pleaser.

www.theemedit.co.uk
Phoenix Bralette* - Rougette
Phoenix Briefs* - Rougette

The set in this post is the Phoenix floral - The bralette is a 36FF and briefs are in an XXL and they fit like a glove. Despite being wireless, the lace is soft and supportive - I was concerned with it being an over the head item, I just couldn't see how would do the job my big ol' babaloos need but it completely and utterly does. I love a longline bra, they're ideal to wear under low back/backless tops or dresses and this one is even better as it's looooow cut and has no fastenings, making it a statement rather than something you're trying to cover up. 

www.theemedit.co.uk

I hadn't looked at the prices before writing this post because it seems somehow gauche (That's the Dowager Countess in me coming out there...) but OH EM GOODNESS - The whole set is £25. Frankly, I will never get over this because the quality is absolutely phenomenal. I am DELIGHTED and now fully intend to buy the entire range...

www.theemedit.co.uk

You can see more pictures of the Eva Bodysuit* and Alexa set* on my Instagram - I really cannot recommend this range enough. Young, fun and affordable; Rougette has got it all.
Em x

*I was gifted three sets from Rougette for review - All of these views are completely my own, from my boobs to yours. 

Review - You Have The Right To Remain Fat

As a smaller fat woman, I often find myself in the position where non-fat people feel I am a safe audience for all of their thoughts about fatness. The good, the bad and the downright fricking terrible. Every time this happens, I bite my tongue, recall that that *I* have a responsibility to my larger sisters and brothers, to set people straight and to educate on a few basics. 

Only sometimes it's hard (Albeit not as hard as being abused on a daily basis..), sometimes I forget all the things I know, all the big words, the politics of it all. I just want to stop and shout BUT YOU ARE WRONG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING IT PLEASE?


When this happens I look up to the brilliant women who put people right every single damn day, the same women who really should have run out of patience by now but they haven't because They Want To See Change. They have had enough. Fuelled by their knowledge and the discrimination they witness over and over again, they are activists, leading a revolution against the anti-fat rhetoric. 

One of these women is Virgie Tovar; Brilliant, bright, inspirational and utterly hilarious. Virgie has always been at the forefront of fat activism for me. She is bold, fat and out there living an incredible life. SHE HAS BEEN IN GRAZIA (A small life goal of mine) And now she has written a book. An incredible book. A MASTERPIECE OF A BOOK. 

I want to start by saying that "You Have The Right To Remain Fat" should be circulated as far and wide as Gideons Bible. It should be in every hotel, on every train,  scattered around doctors surgeries with wild abandon and thrust into the hand of ever single woman who starts a sentence with "I used to be a big girl myself but..."


It's not hyperbole to say that Virgie Tovar has changed my life with this book. I have immersed myself in fat politics for years, which gave me cause to assume there would be no shocks in this book. I KNOW diet culture is bullish*t, I KNOW it's routed in misogyny, I KNOW that fatphobia kills. What else could there be? 

By the end of chapter one I had used ever swear word I know, my mouth was stuck in a permanent O shape. My friends, I had begun to see the light. 

The themes of You Have The Right To Remain Fat move between Virgie's own experiences; from a "self-assured...theatrical little fat girl" to peeing in a swimming pool (My hero) and the politics she has is known for imparting during her mass attended lectures. Switching from heartache to complete and utter joy. In more place than one I found myself thinking "OH I thought that was just me!!". It's incredible how many internalised hatreds we can have for ourselves - Sometimes just recognising them can enhance your life tenfold. As I've said before; Being fat doesn't stop you being fatphobic, just as being a woman doesn't make you a feminist.

One of the most incredible things about this book is that it unites fat readers in the knowledge that we are not alone, many of our experiences are shared. Yet Virgie's writing remains just palatable enough for you to share with non-fats. There are so many statements that will stay with me for life, that I will be able to confidently use in discussions with my fat friends and fatphobics alike. 

I don't want to share too much because I WANT YOU TO READ THIS MANIFESTO and I WANT YOU TO GET ANGRY. It is a dazzling piece of writing and I am a different woman for reading it. Thank you Virgie Tovar, thank you.

Em x

I was gifted You Have The Right To Remain Fat to review - All thoughts are entirely my own because I read it with my eyes and processed it with my big juicy brain.