15/10/2018

Five Minutes on Standing Alone

Sometimes we stand alone.

Today is the last day of child loss awareness week. I’ve not said an awful lot this week, partly because so many other wonderful women are saying things so beautifully and partly because I’m in a strange new phase. Beyond grief and into loneliness.


I’m a woman in my mid-30s. As much as I want to deny the understanding that emotions can be biologically led, there are days when I feel physical pain that there is no child of my own in the house. As much as I know that my life will have many other fulfilments, there are days when I feel such a deep sense of solitary that I want to curl up in bed and never get up.


Talking to other women who have experienced child loss, the overwhelming emotion is loneliness.

We all have an understanding of how we think our lives will be, even if we don’t make plans or set expectations (I certainly haven’t) we still build a world around ourselves that has so many intertwining parts, when one goes a bit tits, it can take years to work out how all the other bits work. How the other people in your life fit into it all. What you see your future being, or not being. 


When I first talked about child loss and mental health on this site, I made a bit of a pact to myself to talk about ALL of it. All of the stages, all of the changes. I do it because it helps me and, hopefully, it helps other people to know that they're not alone.  

When I’ve figured it all out I’ll let you know. It could be a while. 

But rest assured I’m not sad, I’m not incomplete, I’m just a bit lost, and sometimes we have to stand alone. 
Em x
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05/10/2018

Stop. Treat. Go with Galaxy® Chocolate Rounds

It's 3.27pm, the words on your screen are starting to blur, your tummy’s rumbling. Home time seems years away, yet lunch is a distant memory. It’s the time of day that clock watching becomes a national pastime and WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE. Luckily for us, Galaxy have got us covered - As soon as that clock hits 3.28pm head for the biscuit jar and indulge in a Galaxy® Chocolate Round.


You may know that I’ve recently started a new job and one of my biggest challenges has been actually remembering to take the time to stop and breathe never mind anything else. The sheer luxury of allowing myself ten minutes to put the kettle on and indulge in some chocolatey goodness this week has been bliss. 


Delicious shortbread (My fave!) covered in the Galaxy chocolate we all know and love; Rounds come in Chocolate and Salted Caramel flavour and are an all round prrrretty luxury biscuit. I *know* that I should say something about sharing the biscuits with my colleagues BUT they’re too nice and I don’t want to. Take that as you will.  


I think we should all make a pact to allow ourselves at a few moments of chill in our otherwise busy days, starting from tomorrow! Galaxy Rounds are available at many major retailers, regular retail price is £1.99.
Em x

*This is a paid advertisement for Galaxy®. However, all biscuity views are my own.
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08/09/2018

Beauty Comes In All Shapes And Sizes

Today, Navabi release their Beauty Comes In All Shapes And Sizes campaign where they aim to reach as many people as they can with the goal of exploring what Beauty REALLY means to us.


Beauty is so subjective. For example, I find those big white wind turbines beautiful but most people think they're vile. Yes, I am using renewable energy as an example of what beauty is, that's the kinda guy I am (I even wrote a post about it many years ago) 

Anyway, moving on from turbines and the such. The Navabi campaign is all about letting us know that we are ALL beautiful just the way we are. With this in mind, I want you all to think about what you value in other people, what makes them BEAUTIFUL to you? 

Beauty isn't just about shiny hair and nice bottoms - I DO like those things but I like other things too. Beauty, to me, is a culmination of the following:
Integrity
Self-Awareness
Compassion
Tolerance

I will always be attracted to someone who is both engaging and engaged. I will always find someone with compassion beautiful. Over the years I have wondered at the beauty of many a human (just try and stop me) gender, size, shape don't come into it. I find beauty in imperfection, in diversity, in things and people that break from the "norm"


With all of this in mind, I'd like to give a special nod to some of the most beautiful women I know:

My Mum - My Mum has never been anybody but herself; She has never given into peer pressure or pressure of ANY kind come to think of it... She is the eternal realist and nothing phases her. Plus she's always been a hot mum and I like that. My Dad and her raised me to be the woman who I am, and my sister to be the woman who she is. Which leads me to...

My sister Kate - Kate is a ridiculous human, she is one of, if not THE most precious things I have in my life. She dances and she sings (She once thought she was an undiscovered opera singer for ages), she listens and she cares. She gave me a niece that I would literally murder for (I will delete this post if there is ever a murder) and she is just an all round wonderfully weird and beautiful woman. 

My best mate (4EVA IDST) Danni - Danni is the most impressive human I have ever met. There. Is. Nothing. She. Can't. Do.
She's got a huge brain and a tiny body. Her capacity for more more more is incomparable. She yogas and sails and learns and laughs and makes ME laugh and she takes me along for the ride, even when I don't think I can do it. She just GETS me in a way that nobody else really does. She is resilient as fuck and I adore her. 

Steph - I can already hear Steph's eyes rolling from here. Her humility is frankly ridiculous. She is caring, supportive, and has no idea just how wonderful she is. Steph is HILARIOUS, she can make me laugh unlike no other, without ever bringing anyone else down. She grafts her ass off and has this unique way of understanding what you're saying, even if you're not saying it. My life got better when Steph walked into it.

Beebs - I loved Beebs before I'd even spoken to her. She always has time for the people who need her, even when she's going through epically crap times herself. She carries herself with the grace of a swan crossed with a ballerina and she is the most capable human being I've ever met. Her capacity for love is limitless and I'm so incredibly lucky to know her.


I've really enjoyed thinking about beauty and what it means to me. We don't often get the opportunity to step outside of things that just ARE.

Beebs and I are incredibly proud to be part of this campaign - You can find out more about  #Beautycomesinallshapesandsizes on Navabi's social media
Em x
*This is a sponsored post - All views are my own.
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28/08/2018

Tutti Cutie with Rougette

I said I'd get some knickers up on here and I wasn't lying. In fact, I NEVER lie.
Unless it's about how much I've spent on ASOS this month, in which case I will lie to the death... Anyway, here are some knickers, and some fine ones at that.

www.theemedit.co.uk
Phoenix Bralette* - Rougette
Phoenix Briefs* - Rougette
Finding fun, sexy lingerie in larger cup sizes is NOT easy so when Tutti Rouge got in touch singing the praises of their new sister range Rougette, I was VERY interested. A week later, a beautiful package arrived, packed full of lingerie that I knew immediately was up my street. Sexy lace which is wearable rather than novelty,smooth lines, modern styles to suit a range of body shapes, no fuss. Everyone I've seen in Rougette has looked incredible - It's a real crowd pleaser.

www.theemedit.co.uk
Phoenix Bralette* - Rougette
Phoenix Briefs* - Rougette

The set in this post is the Phoenix floral - The bralette is a 36FF and briefs are in an XXL and they fit like a glove. Despite being wireless, the lace is soft and supportive - I was concerned with it being an over the head item, I just couldn't see how would do the job my big ol' babaloos need but it completely and utterly does. I love a longline bra, they're ideal to wear under low back/backless tops or dresses and this one is even better as it's looooow cut and has no fastenings, making it a statement rather than something you're trying to cover up. 

www.theemedit.co.uk

I hadn't looked at the prices before writing this post because it seems somehow gauche (That's the Dowager Countess in me coming out there...) but OH EM GOODNESS - The whole set is £25. Frankly, I will never get over this because the quality is absolutely phenomenal. I am DELIGHTED and now fully intend to buy the entire range...

www.theemedit.co.uk

You can see more pictures of the Eva Bodysuit* and Alexa set* on my Instagram - I really cannot recommend this range enough. Young, fun and affordable; Rougette has got it all.
Em x

*I was gifted three sets from Rougette for review - All of these views are completely my own, from my boobs to yours. 
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22/08/2018

Review - You Have The Right To Remain Fat

As a smaller fat woman, I often find myself in the position where non-fat people feel I am a safe audience for all of their thoughts about fatness. The good, the bad and the downright fricking terrible. Every time this happens, I bite my tongue, recall that that *I* have a responsibility to my larger sisters and brothers, to set people straight and to educate on a few basics. 

Only sometimes it's hard (Albeit not as hard as being abused on a daily basis..), sometimes I forget all the things I know, all the big words, the politics of it all. I just want to stop and shout BUT YOU ARE WRONG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THIS WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING IT PLEASE?


When this happens I look up to the brilliant women who put people right every single damn day, the same women who really should have run out of patience by now but they haven't because They Want To See Change. They have had enough. Fuelled by their knowledge and the discrimination they witness over and over again, they are activists, leading a revolution against the anti-fat rhetoric. 

One of these women is Virgie Tovar; Brilliant, bright, inspirational and utterly hilarious. Virgie has always been at the forefront of fat activism for me. She is bold, fat and out there living an incredible life. SHE HAS BEEN IN GRAZIA (A small life goal of mine) And now she has written a book. An incredible book. A MASTERPIECE OF A BOOK. 

I want to start by saying that "You Have The Right To Remain Fat" should be circulated as far and wide as Gideons Bible. It should be in every hotel, on every train,  scattered around doctors surgeries with wild abandon and thrust into the hand of ever single woman who starts a sentence with "I used to be a big girl myself but..."


It's not hyperbole to say that Virgie Tovar has changed my life with this book. I have immersed myself in fat politics for years, which gave me cause to assume there would be no shocks in this book. I KNOW diet culture is bullish*t, I KNOW it's routed in misogyny, I KNOW that fatphobia kills. What else could there be? 

By the end of chapter one I had used ever swear word I know, my mouth was stuck in a permanent O shape. My friends, I had begun to see the light. 

The themes of You Have The Right To Remain Fat move between Virgie's own experiences; from a "self-assured...theatrical little fat girl" to peeing in a swimming pool (My hero) and the politics she has is known for imparting during her mass attended lectures. Switching from heartache to complete and utter joy. In more place than one I found myself thinking "OH I thought that was just me!!". It's incredible how many internalised hatreds we can have for ourselves - Sometimes just recognising them can enhance your life tenfold. As I've said before; Being fat doesn't stop you being fatphobic, just as being a woman doesn't make you a feminist.

One of the most incredible things about this book is that it unites fat readers in the knowledge that we are not alone, many of our experiences are shared. Yet Virgie's writing remains just palatable enough for you to share with non-fats. There are so many statements that will stay with me for life, that I will be able to confidently use in discussions with my fat friends and fatphobics alike. 

I don't want to share too much because I WANT YOU TO READ THIS MANIFESTO and I WANT YOU TO GET ANGRY. It is a dazzling piece of writing and I am a different woman for reading it. Thank you Virgie Tovar, thank you.

Em x

I was gifted You Have The Right To Remain Fat to review - All thoughts are entirely my own because I read it with my eyes and processed it with my big juicy brain.

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