Five Minutes on Who I Am And What I Want


Happy 2018 Party People!

You all know me fairly well by now and, as such, will know that in 2018 I will be paying no heed to New Years resolutions. I will, however, share with you some of the things I've learnt over the last 12 months and some of the things I'm going to keep on learning for likely forever because I'm a REALLY slow learner (Please see also; "Learning to drive" - Moving into year 17 of that and "Shaving my legs without bleeding to death" - Year 20) 

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Taylor Dress - Joanie Clothing 
Firstly, a subject I always come back to and which I am now well and truly laying to rest: 
Babies and the such.

I want to start by saying: My Vagina Is Nobody's Business (Except my gynaecologist's and on rare occasions like birthdays and olympic opening ceremonies, my husband's) This said, I now feel absolutely no shame or even fear in saying "I Do Not Want Children". It gets you the same looks you get when you say you're bisexual or that, actually, you've always thought that dolphins are total pricks. You know, that frozen smile and a look that says "I have absolutely no way of processing this information, I just know that I've now categorised you with James Blunt as a person who I don't hate as much as Hitler but still wouldn't want around my kids" and THAT IS OK WITH ME. In fact, it's incredibly liberating. You make your genital choices and I will make mine. 

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I am a remarkably uncompetitive person. To the extent that, if a zombie was chasing me, I'd roll over and let it eat me in order to allow someone else to not be chewed on (I think about this a lot. I have my zombie plan DOWN). It's not altruism, I just like to see people who care about instant gratification do well. Also, being an actual zombie looks to be infinitely preferable/simpler than being the person running away from a zombie doesn't it...? 

I know who I am, I know my strengths and my strengths do not lie in fierce debates, cut throat negotiations or saving face. My strengths lie in influencing, informing and enabling the people around me to be just generally fucking awesome. I recognise all of this and am mostly comfortable with it. However, I now work in what can, at times, be an incredibly fierce business environment and the time is right to fly my own flag, even if it IS a flag covered in fluffy bunnies and Care Bears... 

There's a quote I fucking love; "Don't ever lose your softness to their arrogance, let your soul give them hell". There is a place for us all, soft or hard, leader or influencer but personal development can be good and this is something I'm doing right now. 
So don't piss me off (or do, I'll probably still give you a hug and ask if you're ok...) 

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Bikini - Simply Be 

This next bit is copied from an instagram post I put up last week but I'm not going to paraphrase because I was clearly having a good word day when I wrote it:

I started 2017 fat and I’m going to be ending it fat. In the time in-between, I was fat. To all of you reading this, I’m sure you’ll notice that I HAVE NO BEEF WITH THIS. The only time I make excuses is when I walk into something/someone, knock something over or stand on one of my cats but that’s not me apologising for my fat body, that’s me apologising for being a clumsy knob. My fat has nothing to do with my “health” (And I implore you to not be dim or ableist enough to assume it does). There are women who are much fatter AND thinner than me also just living their lives as the smoking hot magical people that they are, enjoying themselves and being total fucking diamonds.

I'm going to go into 2018 fat, fat and happy because my body really isn’t all that I am. I’m hard working, loving and patient amongst other things and I’m not going to let the world tell me that all I am is a disappointing fat body (I’m not, ask my Mum) (Maybe don’t ask my Mum right now, I stole one of her airbeds which is probably pretty disappointing to her).To be honest, I'm bored of harping on about being fat now so please just assume that I am fat and will continue to be so and there will never ever be any form of diet shit on this blog or my social media. 

I also recommend that, Instead of using this week to berate yourself for having a lovely indulgent Christmas and new year, or making stupid goals which you will also berate yourself over or convincing yourself that things will be better if you can just do X,Y or Z; Just go out and do those things because they’re just as enjoyable regardless. Remember that the body image industry exists to make money from people - They’re not here to help us or quinoa and kale would be free and it’s really really not, so don’t believe the hype.

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Reed Blouse - Second Script Curve
Jeans - Second Script Curve
One last thing from me, you know that saying; "Fortune favours the bold". Well please believe me when I say that never have four words been truer. This was my third year of saying yes, of doing things that scare me, of taking every opportunity that comes my way, and I'm incredibly glad that I have. Don't sit there and wait for things to come your way, go out and get it: Ask out that cute babe, apply for that job, start that blog, make that new friend, learn that Beyonce dance routine. 

I've got this, and so have you.


Em x