Saturday, 29 March 2014

How I fake being a redhead....


Thursday, 27 March 2014

Short, Tall and Inbetween - The SimplyBe Daisy Printed Doll Dress

I think it was pretty clear that both I and the other ladies of varying heights, sizes and magnificence really enjoyed reviewing the SimplyBe Floral Skater Dress and I for one loved seeing how different we all made it look.

This is the SimplyBe Daisy Printed Doll Dress, unlike the tunic dress, this just comes in a standard length but I was well up for giving it a go anyway, as I knew I could always wear it with leggings or some 200 dens. 

Oh, but I needn't have worried, the dress is above the knee but the full skirt means that it is entirely decent and I've even gone as far to go without tights (knobbly knee competition anyone....?)

This is one of those fit and flare dresses that has always looked so cool on other people but not so much on me, until now! The waist of this dress is actually on my waist, rather than just above my hips meaning it flares out like a crackers tutu or on my ribcage, suffocating me and ultimately ripping at the seams...

The material is a soft viscose fabric, and the exposed zip on the back is actually really subtle, rather than one that screams to be unzipped by an irritating husband/relative/crazy person on the bus (also, I haven't trapped my hair in it yet so I'm doing well!). 

The pleats are extremely flattering and the dipped hem is great if like me you have a rotund posterior or are not a massive fan of the back of your legs.
I've gone for a 14 here as SimplyBe have never let me down size wise, it's such a novelty to order something and be confident that it will fit. 

For these pictures I wore the dress with my loooovely size 9 New Look red heels which perfectly match my LimeCrime velveteen lips in Red Velvet (clever or WHUT?!?) 
This is all well and good for summer but as soon as I posted about maxi dresses at the weekend, Winter has come back with a vengeance so I put in my "leather" biker jacket from Quiz of all places! I'd spent ages looking for a good quality biker jacket but for some reason, leather just doesn't work on me, I looked like a trainspotter from the 1980s. 

I spotted this whilst walking past and thought there'd be no harm in having a little try on. I fell in love there and then, this is XXL and even though it's pleather, I think it's pretty damn convincing (Plus it's £10 off at the moment!)
This is my face. It has Red Velvet velveteen by LimeCrime on it, as well as Ted baker liquid eyeliner. It also has a bit of a moustache on it because I keep forgetting to get it sorted (lady of class me....)
Finally, here is a delightful outtake for you. I think I look like a Timotei advert. I was actually sneezing (the spray has been cropped out) 

Thank you, as always to Simply Be for this dress, I'm extremely lucky to be able to review such a lovely frock with some bloody magnificent women. Speaking of which, don't forget to have a look what the other ladies think:

Leah: JustMeLeah

Em x

Communication Breakdown...

I got a new phone. It is a phone that is allegedly "better" than my last phone. I just know the bill is less so to me this is a positive thing.

The thing about this phone is that it is slippery. Slipperier than an eel. It's like holding a slimy fish, except it's more expensive and my life is inside of it damnit! 

My last phone had a case. I loved that case.
It is a green monkey. With ears. From H&M - Without exception, everybody I know, hated it. Passionately. 

But I adored it because: 
> It isn't slippery,
> It bounced a bit (important for me as I am clumsier than a clumsy thing)
> It was very bright so I never lost it,
> It's a green monkey with ears for crying out loud.

Sadly, my new eel phone is a different size and shape. Meaning I have to find a new case.


I liked my old case too much, there are plenty more rubber phone cases with ears and even tails in some cases but I feel like this would be disloyal to green monkey. So I'm on a mission to find a new one....

All the cases below are available on Etsy:

Alice in Wonderland


All the rest

These are some of the cases that have caught my eye. Should I be attempting to be more grown up now that I'm in my early (post) twenties?!? This is a tough decision....

So I need your help: What does your phonecase look like? Why is it good? (is it as good as the monkey...?) AM I THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT SOMETHING THATS NOT EVEN VAGUELY IMPORTANT?!? 

Em x


Saturday, 22 March 2014

Great Aunt a la mode

It was my 30th birthday not long ago. You'll have not known about it because I never mentioned it (HA!) I was extremely fortunate to have in attendance the ever stunning and never knowingly underdressed Lolly from lollylikesfatshion who was wearing the Project D Abbey dress from SimplyBe.

I've nabbed the picture below so you can all see my muse and inspiration (too much?!?)

Now I think we can agree, Lolly looks bloody gorgeous and how could I possibly help but fall in love with the dress...?

So I snuck online and tried to casually catch site of the dress (if you don't go looking for if specifically then it's alright and then if it falls in your shopping bag then WHOOPS ah well....) IT WAS £19.50 GUYS! £19.50!!!! I ask you....!?!  I've been a fan of the Project D range since modelling the Olympia maxi dress at Plus North last year. Every item seems to have been really thought about and the quality is outstanding.

So fall in the basket it did.

When I got the dress, I was mildly horrified. It is near identical to a dress my Great Aunt has (which I like but then she is 90....) But I put it on and I am sincere when I say that I love it. I really really do. I bought the 14 (I love SimplyBe's sizing, I'm anything from a 14 to an 18 but here a 14 is generally spot on) and it fits like a glove. 

The material is soft and silky and the shirt style dipped hem gives it a modern and stylish finish. Without the belt, the dress is longer than I would like to wear with tights but I'm fairly sure that I could dress it up or down with different belts.
I'm wearing it here with my trusty Primark ankle boots, Primark 200den tights and my new favorite stupidly gaudy Nails inc polish in Notting Hill Gate.

I'd quite like to wear this dress with a necklace over like Lolly has but it doesn't seem to have worked with the ones I've tried. I think I'm maybe a bit simple (I mean this sartorialy but, you know)  

This is my face. It has Chanel Rouge Allure Velvet in L'Exubérante on it.

To read Lolly's review of this dress, get yourself over to her magnificent blog:

Em x

A tall girl in the sunshine

Yesterday, the sun was shining, and as such I got a bit warm. Overly warm some may say. I don't do hot, it's not me, I don't like it. This provides a problem. When Summer arrives, which it inevitably does (quicker and quicker now that I'm old and life just sails past one tiny disappointment at a time...) I PANIC.

This is me being too hot but having remarkably good arms so I have no beef with this picture right now.
The problem for me is a complex one. Very few people are over the moon in unleashing their various limbs from their Wintery woollen shackles, myself included. I have an added issue, my limbs are just so bloody long. Theres just so much limb. Genuinely, when I take the leap and shave my legs it takes roughly a million years and is EXHAUSTING. There's just so much leg. Leg leg leg leg leg. And these aren't long legs in a Tess Daly way. They're good sturdy lumpy legs which are generally covered in bruises and have giant feet on the end of them. And all this is before I've even got into the issue I have with Mosquitos (they adooooore me. I look like Braille by the end of a week away). Now you know I don't like to be over dramatic at all(!) but IT'S HORRIFYING.

So this year, rather than beating myself up over how I've had eight months to get my shit together and reduce my limb surface area, I have decided to dress better for the weather. 

I personally think I've got moderately better over the years and got out of some bad habits:
> I no longer live in leggings - leggings are great, I'd be nothing without them BUT Summer is not the time to be frolicking about in skintight black jersey material.
> I don't have "cardigan" as a default setting - Hard one this one, I've never liked how my arms look but IM OVER IT. Being close to passing out from heat exhaustion is worse than a couple of yoofs judging my wings of bingo.
> There doesn't have to be quite so much Sublime bronze - my years of smelling of chips and oozing orange are over. I'll still apply it occasionally (I'm not a monster!) but every morning?!? NO. It just makes me hotter and my cats lick me incessantly because they think I'm a giant crisp.

I'm never going to be a "festival ready" ethereal Summer sunflower but I intend to enjoy the sun this year rather than taking to my bed with a solero and a fan pointing at my sweaty brow. 

Below are a couple of frocks I'm contemplating. As I've said before, I struggle with maxi because maxi isn't maxi on me. It's moderately maxi. With the exception of this dress I got a couple of years ago from Love at Topshop. I have cut my face off because I look angry and this is a positive space damnit. Also, what is with that posture?!? I can't even imagine where my ample bosom is...

So these are my tall girl in the sunshine picks for this coming Summer. 

Prrrrrretty limited right now but I'm well into the black Long Tall Sally dress. Watch this space!

What are your satorial plans for summer? I also plan to get a bikini body. You know: Get a bikini, put it on my body.... 

Em x

PS. I hilariously just managed to make my phone read this whole post out loud. Now my Siri dude thinks I'm a right dick...

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