Who else is currently on a constant swing between wanting to hold their loved one so close and so hard that their heads pop off and contemplating moving into the garage because it’s quieter and the door is too heavy for a toddler to open…?
I know I’m anxious right now (I think the majority of us are because we actually care) and children one million percent pick up on that, regardless of how well we think we’re masking it or overcompensating with bigger smiles, louder laughs and just that one more ‘third strike’ before the toy vacuum cleaner being used to ‘discretely’ deck a sibling really does get put up on the top shelf/wheelie bin.
In this house (and covid aside) there have been a lot more early nights, more time cuddling (albeit in an often very ‘spiky’ way) and a smorgasbord of apologies from all angles for the occasional harsh word, rash decision, thrown toy/plate/beaker/vacuum cleaner/lifesize unicorn/sunflower/train/coat with its sleeves inside out because they “CAN DO IT MYSELF” or general lack of understanding that we all have a lot going on. Even the people who shouldn’t have a care in the world.
All this is to say, I’m making a real effort to give the kids a break right now and I include myself in that - If I’m internally losing my shit more than often, it’s because my head and my heart are at capacity. Not a minute goes by that I don’t feel intense gratitude for all that I have (and I mean that, I’m revolting with it) but the world is a shit show and I don’t believe we were made automatically knowing how to navigate it.
I hope you’re giving yourself a break right now.
Em x
